Relationships or Results: Which comes first?

Let me ask you a question, this is an all play.

Is it easier to pursue relationships or results?

I have my thoughts, which I’ll share later, so stick around to the end.

This past Sunday I had the privilege to preach a message on the topic of the Bible. Our church set aside the month of September to focus on teaching about the Bible, God’s Holy Word. Although an imperfect comparison, I attempted to compare the Bible to a special family recipe, a recipe that when followed, it produces more than just delicious food – it evokes a visceral response. Just the smell of this special recipe being prepared transports us to another time and place, to a time and place of being with the giver of the recipe.

A family recipe is special because we have a personal relationship with the recipe giver. It is the same with God’s Word, it will never be special unless one has a personal relationship with the one who wrote it – God. You may think my grandmothers “to die for” chocolate chip cookies are delicious, but you’ll never know the deep personally emotional connection without relationship. Right?

Last week, we met with a pastor here in Santiago to learn about their ministry with Lafwa, to hear the vision and testimony and to see where there may be opportunity to help support their ministry through SCORE Intl. We were so impressed with his passion to share the love of Jesus with the families of his community and his willingness to show us around. However, he also shared that social media is hard for him, as in the past, someone had taken pictures of the ministry and then posted the photos as their own and not the ministry of this pastor. In that moment, we were reminded that relationship and results are both important, but that results can never become more important than pursuing relationship.

I think about Jesus and his ministry with the 12 disciples and the others that were with Him. Jesus was all about relationship and results, but not results at the expense of relationship. The following verses contain the first recorded words of Jesus in the Bible, He was 12 years old.

Luke 2:41-52

⁴¹ Now His parents went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover. ⁴² And when He became twelve, they went up there according to the custom of the Feast; ⁴³ and as they were returning, after spending the full number of days, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. But His parents were unaware of it, ⁴⁴ but supposed Him to be in the caravan, and went a day’s journey; and they began looking for Him among their relatives and acquaintances. ⁴⁵ When they did not find Him, they returned to Jerusalem looking for Him. ⁴⁶ Then, after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions. ⁴⁷ And all who heard Him were amazed at His understanding and His answers. ⁴⁸ When they saw Him, they were astonished; and His mother said to Him, “Son, why have You treated us this way? Behold, Your father and I have been anxiously looking for You.” ⁴⁹ And He said to them, “Why is it that you were looking for Me? Did you not know that I had to be in My Father’s house?” ⁵⁰ But they did not understand the statement which He had made to them. ⁵¹ And He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and He continued in subjection to them; and His mother treasured all these things in her heart. ⁵² And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

At the age of 12 Jesus masterfully managed multiple relationships, but always kept these relationships in their proper order. Jesus could have said His relationship with His heavenly Father is of greater priority than His relationship with His mother and Joseph. But He didn’t, because that’s not what His heavenly Father wanted. Jesus never sacrificed relationship with His heavenly Father in the name of results, this very sacrifice of relationship would have completely undermined the result His Father wanted.

You see, submission to His heavenly Father required submission to His mother and Joseph and submission to His mother and Joseph required submission to His heavenly Father. Jesus could have never thought I’ll disobey my mother and Joseph when I should obey, in order to do what my heavenly Father wants me to do. Jesus knew He couldn’t have one without the other.

You remember the pastor we were telling you about? What was interesting about him sharing his thoughts on social media, is that it reminded us that what one might consider as something so small (photos), not honoring and respecting his viewpoint could be the difference between building relationship or not. I remember when I was younger hearing sayings like “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care” and “kids spell love – T-I-M-E”. I’m sure many of you have heard these sayings before. These sayings have never been truer than when working cross-culturally, especially when people have grown accustom to seeing missionaries come and go. Establishing and growing relationships definitely takes T-I-M-E and people absolutely want to know how much we really care.

Please continue to pray for us as we establish and grow new relationships in Santiago, praying for opportunity to connect SCORE mission teams coming to serve in the Dominican Republic with ministries that desperately could use their help to fulfill the vision God has given them to expand His Kingdom. Sharing in that great recipe given, a relationship through His son Jesus Christ.